I'm probably twice or three times your age, but just wanted to give you a little advice. It's taken me decades to figure a lot out about myself, but I think if I had some advice, I might have saved a lot of pain and time.
So here it goes:
1) Don't talk negativity about your body. It's one of the best things you've got. Yes, it's okay to want to improve some things, but treat it with the respect it deserves. Health and fitness are more important than your looks. When you get my age, you live with your jiggly wigglys. Gravity catches up to you, even if you are in decent shape, so enjoy your body!
2) Don't compare yourself to others. If you walk to a car dealership, you see a lot of attractive makes and models, and if many different people are attracted by the different makes! No one drive the same type of car, so don't think that you have to be the same as your friends.
3) Don't think the people on magazines are real! Can we say AIRBRUSHED? The magazine companies spend tons of money to make something look nice to sell magazines, not to make you feel good about yourself. So don't bother buying them!
4) Don't be afraid to be yourself. I don't give much thought to what others think and basically you won't please everyone anyway, so what is the point of worrying what they think. I am happy being me, and the rest of the world can take a flying leap. Love me or don't. It's up to them to decide. I'm not going to change for anyone but myself.
5) Don't believe what people say. If someone makes a critical compliment, it's your choice to believe them or not. Now they might have some constructive advice, but if they are being critical and rude, don't give them fuel by believing them.
6) Don't wrap up people's compliments into your self esteem or if you don't receive compliments, don't think you aren't good at something. You need to be your own cheerleader. I think I've heard someone call me beautiful 5 or 6 times my entire life. Does that me I'm a beauty or ugly? No. If I have confidence in myself, I don't need to hear compliments. They are flattering, but I don't need to hear them to feel good. I had a boss that never told me I was doing a good job. Now, does that mean I'm a bad worker? No. She believed that she didn't need to tell me, and I got good marks when it came to evaluations. Yes, it would have been nice, but it doesn't mean I need to hear it to be doing a good job.
7) You don't need a man or a kid to have a good life. If you wrap your entire happiness into having a boyfriend, husband, or having children then what's going to happen to you if you don't have those, or your boyfriend leaves or your spouse dies? What will you do when your kids grow up anyway? Enjoy life with or without a significant other. Life is fun and adventure regardless!! I'm 42, not married, and I'm not moping around waiting. I'm just living every day and seeing what to do next and what other adventures I can experience.
8) Last, define yourself. Yes DEFINE YOURSELF. Let no one define you but you. I am a certain type of woman. You might be a different type. I define my life based on how I want to live. I box, love sports, am comfortable in a tank and shorts, blast my stereo and sing in the truck and when I FEEL like it, I wear a dress, make up and go out. I'm worthy of my life and am not going to let others define how I should live it.
Anyway, if that advice helps you avoid years and decades of sadness and pain then great. You are a worthy person! If you want to make changes, do it because you want to. Live life to the fullest, no matter what!
Happy Health
Fit Tomboy
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